Think of England
by Itsjustshe
Summary: Sequel to How Do I Explain


**Disclaimer:** "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

 **Author's Note:** Once again, Thank you to Lanie for her constant, uuummm nagging, I mean, support. Without it my muse would still be in hibernation. This is a sequel to my story, How Do I Explain. It's not necessary to read it first but I would recommend it.

The phone call was ominous. "Joe, we need to talk." I've heard those words before and never with a pleasant outcome. It's never "I've made your favorite dinner and bought your favorite wine, just relax and let me take care of you." or "Sweetheart, I think the idea of a pool table instead of a dining room table is a brilliant idea." and not once have I heard "I've been thinking about you all day so strip and let me make all your dreams come true." Nope, it's "We need to move the wedding date, I'm pregnant." or "I can't possible move the boys to a place with no running water." or my least favorite, "It's not working, I think we should file for divorce."

It's not that this call was unexpected. I just thought I had a little more time to come up with a good explanation. Amanda has only been home from California for a few days. I wouldn't think the boys would have told her yet what they saw. Oh God, how did I get myself into this mess?

As I pulled up to the familiar house, I reflected on how many happy occasions we'd had here, the Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs. I carried Amanda over the threshold. Though it was a year and a half after our wedding, I thought it would be good luck. It was a new start to what was already an amazing beginning. I had a beautiful, supportive wife, a son to carry on the King name and now a quaint house where we could raise our children. A happy home to come home to every night. Why didn't I see it then? Why didn't I listen to Amanda when she tried to tell me all that I was missing, that I was giving up for my own selfish goals?

I once again opened the front door as if I belonged here still. I don't. I never will again. Not being able to get around as easily as she used to, Amanda, during our phone conversation, had told me to come right in. The boys would be at school and Dotty was getting her hair done.

"Amanda, I'm here!" I called out so as not to surprise her.

"Joe, I'm in the den." came her quick reply, her voice seemed forced and more raspy than usual.

I was shocked by her appearance. Usually vibrant, energetic and sun-kissed, she looked weak, tired and pale. I carefully hugged her, very aware of the bandages under her oversized sweatshirt.

"Joe, thank you for coming. Would you like a cup of coffee and I believe Mother made a poppy seed cake this morning."

"I could smell it when I came in. I would love a piece." I replied as headed toward the kitchen not wanting Amanda to get up. "Can I get you a piece or freshen your coffee?"

"Maybe just a glass of water, thank you. It's just about time for my medication."

Returning with a tray laden with our drinks and enough poppy seed cake for both of us, I handed the glass of ice water to her and left a plate with the cake on the table by her.

As I moved toward the chair to sit, Amanda raised her knees and asked that I join her on the couch. I watched a sudden wince flash across her face before she steeled it, trying to hide the pain that I caused when I sat.

"Amanda, I'll sit over there so not to jostle you." I pointed to the chair across the room but didn't move to let Amanda brace herself.

"No, Joe, really it's okay." She smiled to relieve my guilt. "My throat it still a little raw from the intubation tube so it's hurts to talk much above a whisper and this conversation is important."

I watched her remove two pills from the open bottle on the table and swallow before turning her attention back to me.

"Sweetheart, I want to start by saying thank you to you for stepping in and caring for the boys last week while I was...uuummm...unable to. I'm sure it wasn't easy to deal with all of the emotions they were going through not knowing what was going on."

"Amanda, thank you is not necessary. I'm their father and it is my job to be there for them. I'm just sorry that it took something like you getting hurt to make me realize how lacking I've been in my responsibilities to them and to you."

"You were there when they needed you, when I needed you. That's all that truly matters Joe."

Once again, Amanda was letting me off the hook. "So, uummm..." I cleared my suddenly dry throat, "You said you had something important to talk about. I'm assuming it's about what happened...while you were away." I took my gaze off of Amanda and looked at the back of the couch we were now occupying, where Carrie, just a little over a week ago was bent over and I shuddered. How was I going to explain what had transpired while Amanda was fighting for her life?

"Yeah, I think it's important for the boys that we are open and honest with each other. That we discuss what's going on in our lives and theirs." When Amanda looked at me she seemed embarrassed. I realized then that this conversation was as hard for her as it was going to be for me.

Over the course of our relationship, we had discussed sex many times. At first it was "are we ready to take the step into a physical relationship", then "what form of birth control was right for us", followed closely by "so did you like it when…" Even through the years, our sexual relationship worked because we kept the lines of communication open and honest but how do I have an open and honest conversation with Amanda about sex with Carrie? It was supposed to be private, between Carrie and myself, not between Carrie, myself and my ex-wife.

"Well, let me start by apologizing." I looked down at my shoes not being able to meet Amanda's eyes and see the disappointment that I was sure was there. "I really screwed up this time. I didn't expect the boys home that early and Carrie had been away for two weeks. Well, you of all people know how I get after being without for so long. Things got out of hand very quickly. I couldn't believe it when the boys walked in and and-"

"Joe wait. I don't know what you are talking about."

I finally looked up and saw the confusion on Amanda's face. "I was talking about the boys catching Carrie and me having sex. They came in early from school and saw us in a compromising position. We covered up quickly and they rushed to their rooms so I'm not sure what they saw exactly but I know that they saw enough to figure out what they walked in on. Amanda, I'm really sorry. I tried to talk to them about it but with everything that was going on I felt it was better that I talk to you first which I was going to do as soon as you were up to it." The words seemed to rush from my mouth. "I can't believe that the boys told you already. Really, Amanda, I'm sorry." I finally looked up to find Amanda with her head down once again looking like she was in serious pain.

"Honey, are you okay? Can I do something to help?" I got up from the couch and knelt on the floor beside her trying to get her to look at me. When she looked up with tears streaming from her eyes a new wave of guilt flowed through me until I realized that she was laughing. Yes, it caused her pain but still it was laughter. My guilt was suddenly gone as I joined her in the merriment.

"Oh Joe, the boys never said anything to me." Amanda explained as her laughter died down her voice now a mere whisper. As she reached for a glass of water I return to my seat at her feet. "Now that my fit of laughter has passed, please continue with your story.". Her voice seemed so much stronger than it had been when I first walked in.

"Well, really, that's all there is to tell except...well...what I overheard when I went to apologize to them. At first I was a little impressed and then shocked by Phillip's knowledge of the subject. Then I came to realize that I need to have a serious man-to-man talk with both boys." While they both seemed to grasp the mechanics, they were both lacking in the enjoyment aspects of sex.". I watched Amanda's face as I recounted the conversation that the boys had regarding sex. First amusement showed in the crinkle around her eyes and slight smile, then a little bit of disgust crossed as she narrowed her eyes, the sparkle returned along with the hue of embarrassment when I brought up our sex life and then she seemed proud that I seemed to have handled it the right way.

"So the conversation stopped when you called," I finished explaining. "The boys were so happy that you were going to be okay and you were the one to tell them that they finally wanted to get involved in their own lives again. We went out and played soccer, had dinner, homework and then bed. Carrie was a little reserved with them that night but everything seemed back to normal the next day when we all went out for dinner and a movie. Amanda, I'm so sorry that I acted so recklessly."

"Oh, Sweetheart, there's no reason to apologize. it happens. I'm sure they would have caught us by now if we were still married. Didn't you ever catch your parents?" Amanda asked. Horror must have been written across my face because she continued. "You look like what Phillip and Jamie must have looked like when they caught you.". She chuckled at my discomfort. "Do you mean to tell me you never walked in on Jack and Peggie while they were in the throes of passion?"

"NO, NEVER! You know my parents, Amanda, they have never been in the throes of passion," I uttered with disgust.

"Joe, now you sound like one of the boys." Her chuckle turned into laughter by now. "Of course your parents have, where do you think you came from?"

"I have it on good authority that my parents only had sex for the first five years of their marriage and then only on special occasions." I explained

Amanda by this time was laughing so hard, I thought she was going to pop her stitches but even though she seemed to be in pain, she did not stop. Finally catching her breath, she reached for her glass of water to wet her sore throat before she asked "On whose 'good authority' did you come by this information."

"My mother." I declared with what even I could only describe as being a pompous tone.

This seemed to set Amanda off into another bout of laughter. Her laughter did not deter me in continuing my explanation. "The night before our wedding, Mother sat me down and explained to me that while I might have many expectations of you as my wife like keeping a tidy house, making a decent meal, raising a healthy child, I should know that women don't enjoy sex. They just make love to procreate and keep their husbands happy. I should understand this, like my father did, and allow you to govern the appropriate times to do so. Then I should allow you to lie back with your eyes shut and think of England until I finished what needed to be done."

Even as I was saying this I realized how ridiculous I sounded and once again joined Amanda in the merriment.

Once she found her voice again and between hiccups, she asked "First of all, why haven't you told me this before? It would have made me understand your mother better and secondly, didn't you know that it wasn't true? I mean by that point, you already knew that I enjoyed sex as much as you did."

"More" I interjected.

"Okay, yes, sometimes more. I mean I was already pregnant when we got married and that didn't happen during our first time together."

"I guess I blocked that whole conversation out. It was painful enough getting the talk from my father was I was a teenager but it was another thing entirely to hear those words from your mother as a grown man." I shuddered remembering that awkward conversation.

"So, you actually walked in on Carl and Dotty?". I don't know why I asked. I really didn't want to know.

Amanda nodded firmly. "mmm-hhhmm," She confirmed, "Several times actually. So did you once. You just didn't know it."

"What!"

"The night we got engaged and came home from college to tell them, remember?"

"I remember driving you home to tell them. I was a little disappointed because you were suppose to stay with me that weekend in Georgetown. Your parents thought you were at UVA. We came in through the kitchen and Dotty and Carl were in the den watching an old movie."

"Right, they were having sex in the den."

"No, they weren't"

"Yes, they were. Mother called out and asked me to put on the kettle. The movie was almost over and they would come into the kitchen for tea and cake once it was over."

"So, that didn't mean they were having sex."

"No, but the fact that my mother didn't have anything on under her robe did." Amanda smiled like the cat that ate the canary at my sudden realization that she spoke the truth.

"I had no idea!"

"No, you didn't. You only had eyes for me that night."

"You were all that I could think of after our celebration at Mrs. McDonald's."

"I sure wasn't lying back thinking of England then.". She said with a wistful smile.

"If I remember correctly, I was the one lying back and I sure as hell wasn't thinking of England." I smiled back. We were both then lost in our memories until the phone rang.

I picked up the receiver and handed it to Amanda. When she greeted Lee, I suddenly felt like an intruder and picked up my coffee cup and plate and headed for the kitchen. After I washed the plate and fork and refilled my cup, I heard Amanda call out for me to come back.

"Sorry, that was just Lee. He knew mother was going out and wanted to check up on me. It looks like he'll actually get a lunch today barring any national security disasters between now and then. He wanted to see if I wanted anything special.". She smiled again. A smile that was once reserved for me, but was now meant exclusively for him.

"He loves you." A direct statement of fact. I wanted her to confirm it. I needed her to know that it was alright with me. I made the choice to walk away, albeit a foolish one, still my choice. I wanted nothing but the best for her and from what I have observed, Lee is the best for her.

"Yes, he does." She confirmed, again with that smile, "and I love him. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about before we got sidetracked."

"Oh yeah? Did Lee propose while you were in California?"

"Lee did, in fact, propose but a while ago. I was going to tell you when we met for lunch but then you told me about Carrie and I didn't feel it was the right moment. Lee and I then decided to elope but keep it a secret.". Amanda looked down at her hands, almost ashamed to tell me. "We got married before we left for California. I was shot while on our honeymoon."

My heart the broke for her. Just 10 minutes ago she was laughing and now she seemed to be holding back tears. I got up from the couch and knelt again beside her, wrapping my arms loosely around her. "Oh, Amanda, how awful. I thought you were out there on assignment. I was actually angry at you and that stupid job for almost taking you away from our sons, from me. I had no idea."

"Nobody did. Well,,,does. We were afraid they would split us up at work but Lee and I have talked about it and we are going to make things right."

"So you're going to tell the boys and your mother that you are married?" I asked warily. The boys were still upset over her nearly dying, it might be too much for them to handle. I got up from the floor and returned to the end of the couch.

"No, we will probably tell mother the truth soon but we both feel Phillip and Jamie wouldn't understand and they don't know Lee well yet. Lee has been here constantly since we've been back so we will continue to date and then within the next month we will announce our engagement. Once the boys accept that, we will have a small wedding. Hopefully by the end of the summer."

"Wow, that's quick. I hope Lee understands that it's best for the boys."

"Actually, he was the one who suggested it. If I had it my way, he would have moved in when we got back."

"That wouldn't have been good for the boys. They like Lee, but that's a lot to take in especially after being away from you for so long."

"Rationally, I know that but I was needy coming home and didn't want to be without Lee. He stayed the first night we were back on the pull-out in the living room in case I needed him but since then, has gone home every night. He wants them to like and respect him so he talked me into taking it slower and when the time is right, he'll propose again."

"Why did you decide to tell me?" I needed to know. I was Amanda's best friend for a long time but like everything else with Amanda, I no longer deserved that title.

"Well, you are the boys' father and have the right to know what is going on in their lives, especially something this big. Also, I needed you to know Lee's true role already. He loves the boys and if anything should happen to me, I hope you would respect his role in their lives like I respect Carrie's."

"Nothing's going to happen to you." That thought was too much for me to bear.

"You don't know that, none of us do. California proved that. Please Joe, I need you to promise me that you will not cut Lee out of Phillip and Jamie's lives if something were to happen to me. He needs them and even though they have you, they will need him too." Looking at the pain this was causing her, I could not deny her request. I didn't like it but had to agree.

"Yes, Amanda, I will respect your wishes and appreciate that you considered Carrie in this situation."

"She will be their step-mother soon. She should have some place in the boys lives. I really appreciated Carrie stepping in when she did. I'm sure it wasn't easy, especially after being caught." Amanda started to giggle again which caused a slight blush across my face.

"From the sounds of it in here, your conversation went well." Lee walked in the back door.

"It did." Amanda tilted her head up just in time for Lee to bend over and kiss her.

I stood then and extended my hand. "Hi, Lee, it's nice to see you."

"Hi, Joe, it's nice to see you too. I was hoping to catch you. I wanted to say thank you for helping out with the boys so Dotty could rush to California and help with Amanda.". He spoke earnestly and from his heart.

"I'm just glad I was in DC and could be here so fast. I hear congratulations are in order. You are one lucky man."

"Thank you and I'm well aware of how lucky I am." He smiled down at Amanda then and I once again felt like I was intruding.

Picking up my mug, I brought it to the kitchen and left it in the sink. Looking into the den, I saw Lee had already taken my spot on the couch. Smiling, I yelled to Amanda, "Did you want me to put the kettle on for a cup of tea?"

Her immediate laughter let me know she understood. "No, unfortunately, I'm in too much pain and thinking of England won't help this time."

Coming back into the den, I bent over and gave her a kiss on the cheek good-bye. Lee started to get up to walk me to the door but I told him I knew the way out. Stopping as I got to the door, I once again remembered carrying Amanda over the threshold. Hearing Amanda's voice broke me out of my reverie. I realized Lee must have inquired about the kettle when I heard Amanda reply, "Don't worry, Lee, with you I never have to think of England."


End file.
